Rough Go Of It

I send my sincerest apologies as for the past month I have been extremely unwell. The first week of October was my first week of fall break from school. I was just generally run down and feeling drained. A migraine was bound to happen from my interrupted sleep schedule and it came and went at its leisure throughout most of fall break which ran until the 18th (almost 20 days of break awesome!). My sleep schedule now consists of taking at least 45 minutes to an hour to fall asleep and waking up at least 3 or 4 times, sometimes 5, and then struggling again to fall back asleep. The last week of break and into the first week of school, I of course came down with a fever, chills, hot flashes, vomiting, increased dizziness and fainting, the works. That lasted about a week and I was more or less bed bound and slept for the majority of the time to avoid the awful temperature changes that wrecked havoc on my autonomic nervous system. I missed the first three days back to school.

The fever finally broke and I was feeling good, but the migraine that comes anytime I get sick was still lingering. I decided that I needed to get it gone and attempt school, so we went to the ER. They gave me Dexamethasone and it worked. They believed I had a UTI and maybe that was what had prompted the migraine; they gave me antibiotics for it (turns out I actually didn’t have a UTI so I stopped the antibiotics). Also after a few pokes, the nurse had to get out a ultra sound machine just to find what she called my “baby veins”; they also used a baby catheter. I went home feeling pretty alright and at a good manageable level. This lasted until a bitter-sweet surprise landed in lap.

 

My neurologist called; my Botox appointment could be moved up because someone canceled! How sweet! So Tuesday the 17th was scheduled and I was ready to try something new to get rid of my migraine plague. I went to school Tuesday and a few morning classes on Wednesday. Then it was off to the neurologist! The Botox was done, we left, and a few hours later I noticed a slight headache coming on; I ignored it and figured it was from the needles and such. The next day I woke up with a pounding migraine and could barely move, this was not good. The migraine lasted a long time. A few days later a stiff neck set in, so sore I couldn’t turn my head and had to turn my whole body to look at something. The migraine makes my head feel foggy and like I can’t think straight, so homework and school don’t really work. I mean sometimes I stop mid sentence and stare at you for a full minute because I genuinely forgot what I was talking about while I was talking about it. I missed the rest of the week of school.

We headed to the ER on Sunday afternoon to try to give me some relief; I had already maxed out on my home rescue meds. This time the nurse took one look at my (non-existent) veins and brought in the ultra sound machine BEFORE poking me. She also agreed my veins were small and hidden away. They give me Haldol this time and it worked decently. It helped and I was able to go home at a reasonable level. It lasted about two or three days. Again. I went to school Monday and went about trying to catch up, stressing about some of my more in depth classes like Anatomy and College Algebra. and Tuesday I was pulled out half way for my new cardiologist appointment. My new cardiologist is amazing but we will get into that later. So I again didn’t make it through a full week of school; missing Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to much dismay. I am now very much stressed and frustrated that my body is not cooperating with my educational goals. I am however still on track to graduate, it just may be a little different schedule unfortunately.

On to my new cardiologist. I really like him, he seems knowledgeable and invested in helping me feel like myself again. We had real conversations about my life and his experiences with other circumstances similar to mine. We connected on a personal level; I already trust him. Right away he put me on a 30 day Holter monitor, as he says ” a 24 hour monitor scares away arrhythmias”. We meet again in two weeks where we will discuss if we need to change meds, start an exercise program, and where I will talk to him about the possibility of IV saline infusions as a treatment option if he has no other medications or treatments to offer. I really think the infusions could be helpful as they increase blood volume and help with dehydration; that’s a huge problem when I get migraines as well because my nausea is so bad I can’t hardly drink. My new cardio said I have Neurocardiogenic Syncope, the infusions could help with the near constant dizziness and chronic fainting and blackouts that come along with that by pumping up blood volume and helping with my blood pressure when it drops. We will see what plans he has, and what test he wants to runs, and what steps he wants to take. I believe we can work together and find answers and treatments.

So again, I’m sorry I left y’all hanging for a while but chronic illness is unpredictable. You never know when you are going to flare or have a series of bad days. So I hope I got y’all caught up and I will attempt to go back to regularly scheduled blogging. Thanks everyone for reading! 🙂 ❤

I Am Here, I Am Hurting

invisible-illness-under-the-surfaceYa’ll get a second post this week because I need to vent about my frustrations in finding a chronic illness or chronic pain support group. It seems that if you have a chronic or invisible illness you are invisible to the world. I have found less than a handful of support groups in my area for my various health problems and while I have a more open schedule, others may not. Luckily I was blessed to find two migraine/headache support groups at the hospital I will be transferring to once I am 18. But for my pain, my dizziness and fainting? I have yet to find a POTS group in my area that would take someone not technically diagnosed, but that has all the symptoms. I’m looking in to a pain group but I have no idea where they are located or what times they meet. It seems that all the support groups and charities are directed towards children and teens with cancer or other life-threatening diseases like Sickle Cell Anemia or Cystic Fibrosis. And  that’s awesome! Groups like HopeKids and Amanda Hope Rainbow Angels give the support and dignity and hope that kids fighting terrible battles need. But what about those that struggle everyday? That don’t get to go in to remission or get to be cured? That may not have their life threatened everyday, but most definitely have their lives altered for good? I’m not trying to whine here I’m trying to advocate for myself. I feel alone and forgotten and I sure as hell bet other invisible illness fighters do too. Just because we don’t look sick doesn’t mean we aren’t. Just because we look like we’re keeping it together doesn’t mean we don’t want to break into tears and cry for hours. We need help and support too. Whether we band together and create groups ourselves, or kind souls start up safe havens for us, it needs to be done.  It’s ok to show your hurt, because we all need help at some point in our lives.