Chronic Illness, Coping, Life Posts, Mental Health

Losing Mobility

I won't deny this isolation has been hard. Not being able to see my therapist or my psychiatric NP in person for our first meetings has already set me back in the diagnosis and treatment process. They can't see my mannerisms and stims, they can't read my facial expressions or tone, they can't tell when… Continue reading Losing Mobility

Chronic Illness, Life Posts, Mental Health

Disappointed But Not Surprised

Disappointed but not surprised is definitely the mood for 2020. With everything that has happened and is currently happening, this year is shaping up to be one big :/ face. Being separated from friends is my norm. Due to the complexity of chronic illness and symptom flares I often have to cancel physical plans and… Continue reading Disappointed But Not Surprised

Chronic Illness, LGBT, Mental Health

I’m Done Explaining

I'm so tired of justifying my right to exist. I'm so tired of defending my identity, my actions, my boundaries. But if I stopped advocating for myself and my communities, who would? It's utterly exhausting trying to explain why I deserve respect and human decency. And it hurts so much when people fail to see… Continue reading I’m Done Explaining

Chronic Illness, Mental Health

Lymphedema Can Suck It!

Recently, I was diagnosed with lymphedema in my legs and since my last pain flare its been running rampant. Right now, I am going to vent about why I  hate it and now hate yet another part of my body. In my case, lymphedema cause my lymphatic system to be unable to properly filter lymph… Continue reading Lymphedema Can Suck It!

Chronic Illness, Life Posts, Mental Health

Think Zebra

I'll admit this winter has been hard on me. From the beginning of the new year I have been in a huge pain flare and depressive episode. My motivation was drained. I was constantly exhausted, taking 2 or more naps a day. For a brief moment I lost hope. Hope that I would graduate. Hope… Continue reading Think Zebra

Life Posts, Mental Health

Peace and The New Year

Lets just scratch out January and pretend February is the first month of the year, OK? This year I am trying out a word of the year. My word is PEACE. Peace of mind. Peace of body. Peace of heart. I am using The Mighty's 52 Small Things plan of achieving one small goal or… Continue reading Peace and The New Year

Chronic Illness, Coping, Life Posts, Mental Health

Find Me in the Ashes

I am forever grateful that I now have a central line. But my stomach still drops when hearing the words 'blood draw'. And while I look calm and collected, I am fending off a full scale panic attack as the nurses try again and again to get an IV started. Now, I have been poked… Continue reading Find Me in the Ashes

LGBT, Life Posts, Mental Health

Love, Me

So, because it is National Coming Out Day I decided to finally watch the movie Love, Simon. I'll be honest with you, I had to pause the movie 3/4 of the way through. From the scene where Simon was outed on, I could not stop crying. I was sobbing. Now I know that Simon was… Continue reading Love, Me

Chronic Illness, Coping, Mental Health

The Major Losses Of Living With Chronic Illness

Living with chronic illness suck butts. There I said it. It's hard, hurts, and is generally hell. In this post I will describe some losses and thing spoonies will tend to grieve as a way for friends and family to get some insight into what we have to experience in our journey. And for us… Continue reading The Major Losses Of Living With Chronic Illness

Chronic Illness, Life Posts, Mental Health

A Decisive Return

It has been a while, I know. A lot has happened in these past few months and we will eventually get to that; but first I want to give a brief explanation as to why I took a hiatus longer than I had expected too. I needed to recover. And I wasn't healing like I… Continue reading A Decisive Return