I’m so tired of justifying my right to exist. I’m so tired of defending my identity, my actions, my boundaries. But if I stopped advocating for myself and my communities, who would?
It’s utterly exhausting trying to explain why I deserve respect and human decency. And it hurts so much when people fail to see why I should be treated as a living, breathing, human being. Everytime they tell me their opinion is worth more than my experience it puts a crack in the carefully constructed walls I’ve built to protect myself.
I need those walls to survive. Every interaction with those that see me as less than human, worthless, and broken kills me a little more. I can’t force people to respect me as an individual, to accept me as I am, or to treat me with decency. I know that. Yet, I get my hopes up everytime expecting compassion and respect. I reach to see the best in people even when all they’ve shown me is their ugliness.
I can’t keep this up. If I do I’ll end up dead. If you can’t understand why I’m in so much pain and on the verge of giving up, then please just leave. I’m done explaining myself to you.
